Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The Final Rose Recap by Gary

I’ve been trying to think of a good way to recap the ending to this strange and bizarre and awkward journey we all went on with Juan Pablo. Part of me thinks we should just entertain theories to  what exactly he said to Clare in the helicopter. Obviously, we know that there are certain things he “LIKES ALOT!” (wink) but not sure we can go there. I have a sneaky feeling we will hear more from Clare, Nikki, AND Baby Mamma in the coming weeks.  Is Nikki still sitting there cause she wanted to beat Clare so bad?

Let’s focus on what we learned this season:

1.      If a contestant does not make it to at least the hometown dates, let’s not cheer and whoo whoo for the guy until we know him (or her) a little better. Final 3 at least.  

2.      Difficulties with the language and culture differences can hide some major flaws for quite a while. Having a cute daughter running around can also hide flaws.

3.      Pay attention to what the family says…especially if the father, mother, brother, sister, primo, tio, and nanna all warn you he’s not such a great guy after all.

4.      If 2 girls quit for no reason, consider that a red flag as well.

5.      If Chris Harrison and the production crew turns on you, get surly with them. After all, they did pick YOU, this is about YOUR life, it is YOUR choice who you pick in the end

6.      Men…we are powerless against late night warm ocean sex. Just look at that what YOU made ME do! How dare you?! (wink).

7.      Be sure to bring back castoffs 5-9 from the show so they can be placed in the audience to gasp, roll their eyes, and look disgusted. Always a strong move.

8.      Be sure to keep a few of the more successful couples around so they can talk about the “right way” to go through this process…you know, since Bachelor has about a 3% success rate.

9.      It’s on TV…why not wardrobe experiment? It’s a grand idea.

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Que lindo es sonar despierto.
How lovely it is to dream while you are awake.

Dreams That Have Come True